Book Details:

Title: The New Rules of Attachments: How to Heal Your Relationships, Reparent Your Inner Child, and Secure Your Life Vision by Dr. Judy Ho
Category: Adult Non-Fiction, 359 pages
Genre: Mental Health, Self-Development, Self-Help, Relationships, Motivation
Publisher: Hachette
Release date: March 26, 2024
Content rating: G

Description:

Discover a revolutionary approach to attachment theory that teaches readers how to heal their inner child to change their anxious, avoidant, or disorganized attachment style in relationships, friendships, at work, and home—perfect for readers of How to Do the Work, Polysecure, and Amir Levine’s Attached. Did you know that attachment style impacts more than romantic relationships? As it turns out, most of us are thinking about Attachment Theory all wrong, and triple board-certified clinical and forensic neuropsychologist Dr. Judy Ho is here to set the record straight.

Grounded in the science of attachment, Dr. Judy’s game-changing approach shows that our attachment style impacts every aspect of our lives: friendships, career, goal setting, and, critically, our sense of self. Moreover, we can all learn to become securely attached—no matter what attachment style we developed in childhood—meaning that we can reclaim our ability to feel safe, loved, and capable of achieving the life we’ve always wanted.

Through Dr. Judy’s innovative program, readers will learn to identify their attachment style, recognize their core needs and wounds, and implement evidence-based practical tools to heal their inner child as they develop the secure attachment we all need to thrive.

Readers will also benefit from:

• A new attachment style quiz to identify your attachment style in all areas of life.
• A personalized approach that allows you to start making positive change today.
• More than two dozen transformative exercises to support your journey to healing.

With warmth, authority, and a bias to action, The New Rules of Attachment is a call to achieving unconditional self-love and a meaningful, joyful life.

Reviewed by Laura Fabiani

As a Special Care Counsellor, I have always been drawn to learning more about neuropsychology and anything to do with behaviours. When my children were young, I practiced attachment parenting, carrying my babies in a sling, co-sleeping, and doing long-term breastfeeding. But with baby #2 came post-partum depression, and I struggled with everything, feeling like a failure most of the time. It took me years to get back on track. Now my kids are adults, and I'm successful in my career, but when Dr. Judy Ho's new book came out, I knew I wanted to read it, fascinated, as I am, with this topic.

I was somewhat familiar with the attachment styles in a very general way but I wanted a more in-depth look at them. As I began reading and then filling out the questionnaire, I began to see clearly my attachment style and how it explained a lot of my behaviours! It was truly eye-opening...and surprising. Suddenly, my brain was flooded with childhood memories and I began to better understand myself. 

The book is divided into chapters that explain the four different attachment styles and how to heal from those that prevent you from being securely attached and thriving in all aspects of your life. I particularly liked chapter 2 on self-concept, and the appendixes that offered self-compassion strategies and tips on how to deal with triggers. As I dived deeper into the information about my style, I realized two things. First is that throughout the years I have worked at making the changes Dr. Ho talks about. No easy feat, but I am in a much better place. Second is that there is still more I can do to make sure I use the right coping strategies, hence the usefulness of this book. The exercises included are insightful but not easy to do at times because they require much self-reflection. However, that is the only way to change for the better. Even if you start with only a few things, this book can really empower you to make the changes that will help you reach your full potential.

The New Rules of Attachment is an excellent resource for everyone, yes everyone, because we all have attachment issues that we can eliminate or improve. It's for individuals who want to understand themselves or others better. It's for the parent who wants to raise securely attached children. I also recommend it for professionals who work in social sciences, psychology, and in the health and wellness fields. Thank you Dr. Ho for your insights and guidance in this book that leads to self-exploration and self-transformation.

This book is actually a journaling book with quotes on each page to motivate and inspire. This journal is divided into 9 chapters with quotes based on a different themes such as writing tips, the art of storytelling, the craft of writing and writing as medicine. I enjoyed the quotes that are at the top of each page as you can see below. There is not much writing from the authors. They give a brief introduction to the chapter and then leave you to write. 

My only complaint is that it's not easy to write in because the book does not lay flat. A spiral bound version would have been more practical. I think this book is good for anyone wanting to be a writer and those lacking confidence to actually get writing and following their dream to do it. It's also good if you want to get some of those feelings out on paper. You know, those feelings that tend to surface during a lockdown, a worldwide pandemic...and situations where you cannot hug your friends.

Jim Juliana was a hard-working family man with a devoted wife and adoring children. As a teacher, he taught numerous subjects over a 28-year career, was an assistant principal/athletic director for three years, and mentored generations of youngsters in the classroom and in athletics. Juliana was a coach for forty years at the high school level. Coach Juliana has been a part of two state championship teams, a city championship team, and several league title teams. He spent two years as a college instructor and football coach. But Jim Juliana had a secret life, one over which he had no control. 

For most of his life, he also fought - and eventually defeated - an embarrassing and almost debilitating OCD. OCD or obsessive-compulsive disorder is an anxiety disorder that affects three to five million adults in the US each year. OCD involves irrational fears or repeated thoughts or obsessions that drive an individual to engage in repetitive behaviors or compulsions. Jim Juliana's life was finally changed when he found a therapist whose treatment all but eliminated his OCD incidents. A Secret Life chronicles Juliana's battle against his OCD and gives readers options and information for treatment based on his experiences.

Ends July 3, 2020